


Detroit: become... groupchat?[Discontinued!]

by NightyPaws



Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Connor is akward, Josh wants everyone to be friendly, Markus is tired, Might add characters idk, North and Connor are best buds, North makes chaos, Simon is just there, Tags Are Hard, absolutely memey, no romantic friendships, swearing warning, titles are too
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-07
Updated: 2020-01-20
Packaged: 2020-10-28 18:15:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,865
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20782967
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NightyPaws/pseuds/NightyPaws
Summary: North creates a groupchat with the Jericho crew and it becomes a mess. It's a good mess in North's book, does anyone share the opinion? No one knows-This work will no longer be updated, I'm really sorry!





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> My first ever Fic!  
I really hope you enjoy this, cuz im very scared to put this up lmao  
Please read the tags if you don't want to dive in without information  
We all good? Alright  
ALSO!  
The tag "no romantic friendships" is true but also not  
Like, if you squint really hard there could be Markus/Connor  
If you don't want that then no need to be scared (altough North ships it and she's the captain of "Let's get Connor and Markus together" ship)  
More chapters to come!

**_North created the groupchat_**

**_North changed the name to "Jericrew"_**

**_North added Markus to "Jericrew"_**

**Markus:** North what is this

**North:** Sush, Markus, Let me do my thing

**_North added Simon to "Jericrew"_**

** _North added Josh to "Jericrew"_ **

**Josh:** What is this North?

**North:** Goddamnit are you all blind, its a groupchat

**Josh:** No I mean, why did you do this 

** **** **

**North:** Because I could 

**Markus:** North can I ask you for an opinion 

**North:** Shoot

**Markus:** So the police department asked for Jerichos view on more androids working on the police force, and I need your opinion

**Josh:** Who asked?

**Markus:** Well, the Captain told me, but it was brought up by the Lieutenant and Connor. Why do you ask?

**North:** WAIT SHIT, CONNOR STILL EXISTS I FORGOT

**Markus:** Wait what

** _North added Connor to "Jericrew"_ **

**Connor:** Hello, North, Markus. Could I ask why am I here? 

**North:** for fucks sakes Con dont be so freaking formal

**Connor:** I guess I'm sorry then

**Connor:** I still want my question to be answered

**Markus** We are all as confused as you are. North doesn't answer anything

**North:** Are Josh and Simon both offline? Darn

**Markus:** They were both called for a thing in the tower

**Markus:** Hey could you do me a favor, North? Answer my questions if I do yours

**Connor:** I'll be on Markus' side on this one

**North:** Betrayal

**Connor:** Just answer it

**North:** Awww is the cinnamon roll angry?

**Connor:** I'm heading down to catch a murderer, of course I am North

**North:** aaaand he's off

**Markus:** Wow

**North:** ?

**Markus:** I never tought you two are close. 

**North:** Wdym?

**Markus:** You called him a cinnamon roll and he didn't say anything about it, you can't fool me. Your first massage included 'Con' and not Connor

**North:** huh, maybe we are

**Markus:** Just don't go south with him

**North:** You know, I should've predicted that but Im now more dissapointed that I even knew it was coming

###### -

######  After 25 hours, 28 minutes and 12 seconds...

###### -

###### 

**North:** WHAT'S UP, BITCHES

**Josh:** I really hope you didn't mean that

**North:** Wow you're no fun, you know that?

** _Josh changed North's name to "drama queen"_ **

**Drama queen:** Alright then 

**Simon:** What did I miss?

**Drama queen:** Connor got added and Markus made a really bad pun on my name

**Markus:** Oh c'mon, it wasn't _that_ bad

**Simon:** Well I heard screaming from North's room yesterday so maybe it _was that_ bad

**Markus:** ouch

** _Josh changed Drama queen's name to "Super drama queen"_ **

**Super drama queen:** OH COME ON

**Simon:** That name suits you, not gonna lie

** _Super drama queen changed Simon's name to "A lying piece of shit"_ **

** _Connor changed Super drama queen's name to "Mega super drama queen"_ **

**Mega super drama queen:** I'm gonna kill all of you

**Mega super drama queen:** You too Connor don't you dare speak now

**Connor:** Whatever you say, Mega super drama queen

**Markus:** wow, Connor's got some sass

**Markus:** I like that

**Mega super drama queen:** Markus you're the first, Connor you're next

**Mega super drama queen:** Anyone want to speak up now or would I have to pick?

**Mega super drama queen:** Alright, Markus Connor, you both say your goodbyes and smooches, c'mon chop chop

**Connor:** Is there something I missed, because I can't really understand what in the world you just typed so we could all see

**A lying piece of shit:** North, you're going to ruin his innocence you can't do that

**Mega super drama queen:** oh shit

**Connor:** Guys please

**Mega super drama queen:** Look at him, there's only 100% purity in there

**Markus:** For the first time, I'll be siding with North here

**Connor:** Is this a test or something

** _Mega super drama queen changed Connor's name to "Cinnamon roll"_ **

**Cinnamon roll:** I think you're forgetting the point where I could kill you in 2.7 seconds

**Mega super drama queen:** Shut up innocent being

**Markus:** He's so fucking pure 

**A Lying piece of shit:** How tf

**Josh:** I'm going to die

**Cinnamon roll:** What is wrong with you people


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mega super drama queen: I could've just googled it, let's be honest
> 
> Cinnamon roll: But you didn't and asked me instead, let's be honest

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really wanted to continue this but I never got insparation so now I'm rising out of the grave with no ideas to spend my night  
that's just how I roll B)

[4:20]

** _[A Lying piece of shit changed their name to "Simon"!]_ **

**Mega super drama queen:** Oh c'mon! It fit you so well

**Simon:** Shut up

**Mega super drama queen:** So we getting angry today? On the best hour of the day? Really?

**Markus:** Who said something about memes to North

**Markus:** Identify yourself

**Cinnamon roll:** That would be me, good sir

**Mega super drama queen:** I could've just googled it, let's be honest

**Cinnamon roll:** But you didn't and asked me instead, let's be honest

**Markus:** Why did it even happen

**Josh:** She found a picture supposed "baby yoda" from star wars with some text and proceeded to laugh until she fell to the floor

**Josh:** I was in the room with her

**Cinnamon roll:** And I heard the falling and came in

**Markus:** North can you explain yourself?

**Mega super drama queen:** IT WAS FUNNY DON'T BLAME ME

**Simon:** And here I thought that I was the one who will be mad at that hour

**Markus:** Can you like.. I don't know, send it?

**Mega super drama queen:** https://noguiltlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/11/and-thats-the-tea-baby-yoda-meme-1-e1575124744248.jpg  
_[authors note: I don't know if the link will work or not, please inform me if it doesn't!]_

**Markus:** are you serious

**Markus:** this is the shit you're laughing at

**Mega super drama queen:** IT'S A TOP TIER MEME DON'T FUCKING JUDGE M

**Josh:** aaaand she's down. again.

**Markus:** Connor, do you know how to fix this?

**Cinnamon roll:** Seeing the damage I have done by telling her about memes?

**Cinnamon roll:** No

**Markus:** Superb, fucking superb

**Josh:** Maybe we can make her look at a cursed image instead?

**Markus:** Now why, out of all of people that exist in the world, do you know about cursed images?

**Josh:** Instead of North here, I googled it when I saw someone talking about it on the internet

**Markus:**Oh god this day isn't going to end, is it

**Markus:** WAIT OH MY GOD PLEASE DON'T TELL THAT CONNOR KNOWS WHAT CURSED IMAGES ARE

**Markus:** OR HAS SEEN ONE

**Cinnamon roll:** No?? I can find out tho

**Markus:** NO, DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THAT BY ME YELLING, IT MEANS THAT I DON'T WANT YOU TO DO THAT

**Cinnamon roll:** Alright, understood

**Super mega drama queen** holy fuck, Markus you just saved Connors innocence

**Markus:** I know, that's what I'm to do , captain obvious

**Cinnamon roll:** And we're back to this again?..

**Markus:** You have no say in this, pure being

**Cinnamon roll:** I'll take that as a yes and nope the fuck out

**Markus:** WAIT CONNOR I DIDN'T MEAN OFFENCE

**Cinnamon roll:** none taken, I'm just heading down to a case

** _[Cinnamon roll has disconnected!]_ **

**Markus:** oh thank god

**Super drama queen:** Markus if you have hurt his feelings, you do know my knife collection in my closet, right?

**Markus:** Yeah yeah, just don't fucking laugh at crappy memes

**Super drama queen:** YOU LITTLE SHIT

**Simon:** Suprise! North has lived up to her title!

**Super drama queen:** YOU LITTLE SHIT- PART 2

**Markus:** great, this day is not going to end. Absolutely not gonna do that is it now?


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Markus: Shut up
> 
> Everyone: *Silent for a moment*
> 
> Markus: No wtf

**[3:27]**

**Josh:** you know what I wonder? Why do we have a chatroom instead of talking to each other? Like I get it, Connor doesn't live here, but we all live in the same building

**Super drama queen:** Sometimes some questions don't have answers

**Josh:** I am currently asking a question to anyone but you

**Simon:** Sometimes some questions don't have answers

**Josh:** Markus, Connor?

**Markus: **Sometimes some questions don't have answers

**Josh: **Connor please

**Cinnamon roll: **Well, I mean, they are certainly not wrong

**Josh:** Oh for rA9's sake

**Markus:** We're answering this because we _don't _have an answer to _that_ question

**Simon:** Well, we don't, North might

**Super drama queen: **Nope

**Josh:** We all know that you know the answer

**Markus: **Connor, use your detective skills, sit her in a room or something and get an answer out of her

**Cinnamon roll: **Consider it done, it's my day off, I have plenty of time

**Super drama queen****:** Wait shit no

_ **[Cinnamon roll has disconnected!]** _

**Super** **Drama queen:** MARKUS WHAT THE HELL

**Markus: **oops

**Super drama queen: **WHAT DO YOU MEAN OOPS HE MIGHT ACTUALLY COME TO MY FUCKING DOOR 

**Super drama queen: **YOU KNOW THAT HE WILL

**Super drama queen: **FUCK THIS IM HIDING

**Simon****:** Everyone lock your doors and don't let North in

**Josh: **Done

**Markus: **Done

**Super drama queen: **WHAT KIND OF FRIENDS ARE YOU

**Simon:** Good one's actually

**Super drama queen: **SHUT THE HELL UP SIMON

**Josh:** And once again, North lives up to her name

_ **[Markus muted Super drama queen!]** _

**Simon: **I was enjoying it

**Markus:** Well my notifications are blowing up so no

**Markus: **She had the balls to trust me and put me as an admin of the chat 

**Markus: **Now I have the power

_ **[the chat's silent for like.. 10 seconds]** _

**Markus: **No this is boring

_ **[Markus unmuted Super drama queen!]** _

**Super drama queen: **YOU BASTARD

**Super drama queen:** I TRUSTED YOU YOU ASSHOLE

**Markus: **We all see how that went

**Josh: **Speaking of going, where's Connor, is he actually coming?

**Super drama queen: **He better not

**Super drama queen: **OH FUCK

**Simon: **What?

**Super drama queen: **HE'S IN MY FUCKING ROOM AND I'M HIDING

**Cinnamon roll:** That makes my search much easier, thank you

**Super drama queen: **CONNOR ANDERSON RK800 LEAVE MY ROOM THIS INS

**Markus: **North?

_ **[Super drama queen has disconnected!]** _

**Simon: **Is she dead?

**Josh: **That the equivalent of Connor finding her

**Simon: **I'm gonna say that she's dead

**Markus: **Don't you guys wanna check her room?

**Markus:** Because I'm going

**Josh: **Nah man

**Simon: **Just don't die, but nah

**Markus: **wow, okay

**Markus: **One step out of my room and I hear rumbling noises, god

**Josh: **Keep us posted

**Markus: **Alright, at her door

**Cinnamon roll:** Don't enter, but you can listen

**Markus: **Why exactly can't I enter?

**Cinnamon roll: **Alright alright I won't stop you

**Simon: **What are you doing there?

**Josh: **Most importantly what are you doing to North?

**Cinnamon roll:** Exactly what Markus told me to do earlier

**Markus: **now I'm kinda scared

**Cinnamon roll: **Go ahead, enter in, you might help actually

**Markus: **CONNOR HOLY SHIT

**Simon: **WHAT IS HAPPENING?

**Markus: **NORTH IS TIED DOWN WITH A FUCKING ROPE TO A CHAIR

**Markus: **CONNOR HOW DID YOU EVEN GET THOSE

**Cinnamon roll: **Got them on my way, thank you for asking

**Cinnamon roll: **Might not be the best way to interrogate a person but it still works

**Markus: **I mean yes I want the answer but holy shit

**Markus: **I feel like I will go to my room and let you do your thing..

**Cinnamon roll: **Alright!

**Markus: **You seem happy to get a chance to _tie North to a chair_

**Cinnamon roll: **I just have a plan that's all

**Markus: **Alright go for it

_ **[Cinnamon roll has disconnected!]** _

**Simon: **I have no comments

**Josh:** Don't you feel like we should help North out a little?

**Markus: **Nah

**Simon: **Nah


End file.
